2011

One more post, I promised myself, and here I go ending a rather fruitless blog year of 2011. The mandatory review, something that I have not been doing since 2008 is here again to be. I know that in a few years time, I would reflect on this writings and place a retrospective barometer upon how my life has been.

2008 till now, I must admit that a good part of my soul had been undergoing secularisation, a term very much frowned upon by the institutions that represent the faith I profess. From my readings so far, top thinkers are deciding to head back to the drawing board of what the term means. But this process, to me, is more of a journey towards modernity, a movement towards having a faith that I can fully embrace in my mind and heart and understanding God to my level best - even if it means I only get a glimpse at a small part of a larger view.

I have very little adherence to regiment. I need a 'third force' most of the time to get at my deadlines; it being as obvious as my work during my time at The Star or coursework part of my postgraduate course. To some, my decision to leave the comforts of a job which I am passionate about to discover the meaning of my life in a radical sense had limited grounds for credible justification. But then I am a rebel - not against anyone but against my presumed conventions of life that encircle me all the time.

I don't know, till today if I am right. I make mistakes, and am very prone at them. But if I enjoy the grace of redeeming myself, I will try my level best to right the wrongs of my preceding work. Many a times I redeem myself and those who have vested faith in me, I tend to appreciate greatly and am loyal to.

Growth… meaning of life… sentiments that I am very weighed in about. At the end of a season that widely illustrated what my life was before this, my undergraduate days, I said a prayer and it has been the prayer for my life ever since until I find a resolution. That is to find myself in a new season all over again, waiting for the next defining point.

I guess the moment is living in this season. I am back into contemplating my future. And unlike the concerns that I had before this, it involves bigger things now. Stuff like marriage, household, career fill my thought agenda and ultimately - the meaning of life.

Some may find out what they're destined for, some will not know but find peace in journey through every season. This is where I am at now. Before, adulthood sums me up to the persona I will portray, I will always challenge my perspective and if my beliefs prevail and corresponds with my growth, I know I am on the right track.

On the 25th December of my life, I am at peace with the direction I am taking, only anxious as to where I will be going next year. It is when I make my mark.

The question I now point back to you is if you had looked back, how have you grown this year?