Me: Now

And then, the curtain comes down - you realise that all that happened was just child's play. It was only just beginning for you. That was how I felt when I ventured out into the world.

I felt like I was living in the shadows of someone or some aspect of my life back then. Now, a year out in the open, do not feel the shade anymore. Sometimes the shade is comforting. The heat from the limelight can heat you up a little too much.

I may have said this for a couple of times now. I feel like a printed poloroid. For long I have been kept in an enclosed protection. But I have been integrated, and the vividness of my character takes a degenerative phase. I feel that I am losing my value.

However at the exact same moment, I feel that it is the end of this identity because a different position I have to take, a different person I have to be. It feels bad to let it go but I just have to migrate.

And so, along with those dear to me and with the entities of my life in which took years to build, I assume a new position and require time to get used to these familiar oddities. Did I purposely choose to juxtapose my life? In a way yes. But it is vital because without it, I don't think I can ever find it in me a purpose.

So where does Christ fit in? I know He's somewhere in there because my heart cringes when I think about how an amazing job He's done for my life. Overwhelming.

But I am not the kind that am spoken to. God enables me to find answers.

The answer can't just be found now. But this, my friends, is a beacon to my me. I have a steady aim at my life's trajectory yet deep inside me I have a reckless nerve.

I know that I am just only finding out who I really am.

I am giving myself two years to do so.

Today is July 1, 2010. Get back to me on July 1, 2012.